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Underestimating my strength and power in a battle, at the end, there is a huge chance of being left with regret. With the thought that "I could be more, I could be better. Maybe it would be different if I was more, if I was better." 

On the other hand, overestimating my strength, the result might be loss. I get crumbled, ruined. In action, I simply run of resources before it all ends. It all shatters before my eyes.

Devastation kills. Numbness after defeat, after being beaten up to the end, is intolerable.  But I never learned how to deal with remorse. I mean, I just don't have this piece of knowledge. Picking the latter option is not exactly a choice, a choice based on free will. 

Let's call it fate. 

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