Only love remains

On a warm January evening, he dropped me off at the airport! 

I was leaving and he so wanted me to leave... And he so wanted me not to leave.. He tried hopelessly to escape from the moment, tried hardly to drag his friend so that he wouldn't be alone.. I kept on talking bullshit on the way, just to keep him calm. Didn't work. 

I started repeating the same usual stuff. Couldn't help it. I so needed to ask him, to beg him to take care of himself.. to be happy.... 

I was fine, almost calm! Not that I had no feelings... I just had run out of all my feelings long ago... 

I had left part of my love, part of my heart long ago and it was simply too late.. too late to take anything back... too late to forget anything... too late to change any of what I left... to change the fact that I had left a big part of my heart... so I was in peace with all of it... 

We got to the airport... We hugged... Of course it was damn hard to leave piece of my heart again, but I was fine. I was even half thinking about my knee pain and the long flight...

I said goodbye and even I might have not said it . Then I took my red luggage and entered through the glass door. I saw the escalator and I knew I had to take those stairs. I was fine.. I was perfectly calm ... but for some reason my heart was pounding ilke crazy... I was walking towards the stairs and I was not looking back... Damn! I was not looking back... He was there and I was not looking back... I hated that I'm not looking back and I didn't look back... I was leaving and I was not looking back... I just knew in no hypothetical world, I would be allowed to look back... I wasn't looking back, but I just felt him standing there, felt it under my skin... and I was just not looking back...

I did not look back. So the time froze then. Part of the world stopped just there. There is a whole parallel frozen world where he is standing behind the glass door and I'm taking the stairs and I'm not looking back... Nothing is ever gonna change anything in that world...